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Or, what dogs might say if you were to ask them to change
one....
Golden Retriever: “The sun is shining, the day is
young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and
you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb,”
Border Collie: “Just one. And then I’ll replace
any wiring that’s not up to code.”
Dachshund: “You know I can’t reach the stupid
lamp.”
Rottweiler: “MAKE ME.”
Boxer: “Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky
toys in the dark.”
Lab: “Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeease let me change the light
bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeease, please,
please, oh, please, me, me, can I, can I?”
German Shepherd: “I’ll change it as soon as
I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make
sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more
perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage
of the situation.”
Jack Russell Terrier: “I’ll just pup it in while
I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.”
Old English Sheep Dog: “Light bulb? I’m sorry,
but I don’t see a light bulb.”
Cocker Spaniel: “Why change it? I can still pee on
the carpet in the dark?”
Chihuahua: “Yo quiero Taco Bulb.”
Pointer: “I see it, there it is, there it is, right
there.”
Greyhound: “It isn’t moving. Who cares?”
Australian Shepherd: “First, I’ll put all the
light bulbs in a little circle....”
Following greater public awareness of codependency issues
in our society, clinical psychologists have recently identified
a new addictive syndrome affection millions of women worldwide
This condition, termed “clothes-dependency”,
is characterized by compulsive buying of clothes obsessing
over sizes, colors and styles, and frequent concern, perhaps
never wearing the clothes purchased.
Drs. Gooda Will and Salva Army, leading therapists in this
groundbreaking science, said in an interview, “Clothes-dependency”
has only recently been identified as an obsessive-compulsive
disorder, because it has been taken for granted for many
years as a normal part of women’s behavior. Clothes-dependency
is related to, but clinically distinct from, shopaholism.
While shopaholics will purchase anything when the urge hits
them, clothes dependents are focused specifically on clothes.
Now that the syndrome has been positively identified, clothes-dependents
are coming out of the closet to seek counseling in droves.
Fortunately, there is help for these people.”
- Do you find yourself spending large amounts of time
in shopping malls?
- Do you know the location of every Goodwill, Salvation
Army and Thrift Store in every major city and small town
in the USA?
- Does your heart skip a beat when you see the word “SALE”
at your favorite Discount store?
- Do you have 3 pairs of identical shoes in different
colors?
- Do you buy clothes you don’t need?
- Do you enjoy shopping alone?
- Do you get a rush when you get a good deal on lots
of clothes and you can’t stop?
- Do you keep telling yourself you deserve to spend money
just this one day?
- Do you ever justify buying 10 pair of jeans on sale
because they were such a good deal and actually some jeans
cost that much for one pair and look how much you saved
so aren’t you smart?
- Does your closet look like it might explode at any
moment and you usually wear the same things most of the
time, after all where are you ever going to wear that
awesome gray dress and shoes?
If you have answered “yes” to five or more of
these questions you may be clothes-dependent.
Groups are now forming nationwide to deal with this important
issue. The largest of these is CLODA (Clothes-Dependent
Anonymous), a support program based on the Twelve Step Program).
There is also Co-CLODA, for co-clothes-dependent, those
people who support clothes-dependents in their addictions.
Also important are the ACCD groups (Adult Children of Clothes-Dependent),
for children whose lives have been traumatized by this condition.
Submitted by:
John Freedom, Tucson Lifeline
Bennie Jean Kuehnle-Knorr
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